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TOXIC Fatherless Homes

BY TIM PATTEN

The young men who act-out violent romps and killing rampages are trying to tell us, however inadequately, that they can’t navigate through life’s stresses.

Yet rather than being punished or outcast, they may just be in need of a close mentor, such as an older brother or father figure, who can help navigate a given dilemma.

We are in the midst of an epidemic, not of toxic masculinity as feminist’s camouflage their mistake of glorifying single moms; instead, we are burdened with massive numbers of school boys and young men who are being raised in fatherless homes.

Without a father, boys can easily veer in criminal directions and unfortunately, the lack of a functional support system only serves to make many young men feel even more isolated and unsettled than they already are, which only exacerbates small hassles that can fester into something much worse.

These young males are being ignored and allowed to fall through the cracks, leading them into the dark abyss of reckless behavior.

Let’s turn the world upside down and give our boys and young men a chance to soar by mentoring their unique paths. It is not easy for boys in today’s world.

Society must now provide coaches or mentors can help them cope and thrive in this tough environment. Weekly visits to discuss relationships, school or work has proven to be successful in deterring behavioral problems before they worsen.

Of course, it is essential that we have genuine specialists, similar to those who work with men’s health organizations. They should be trained to address the unique needs of boys and young men and provide them with guidance that is informed both by competent training and real-life experiences that can be shared.

These weekly sessions would be akin to working with personal exercise trainers, who might track fitness goals, strengths and weaknesses to help clients make the most of their body’s potential.

In the same way that trainers can nurture physical growth, mentors can help nurture emotional growth. Young males generally benefit from approaches that go beyond just a standard face-to-face sit-down counseling model.

An innovative, activity-based program could produce even better results. Such a program should be designed and implemented to build trust, communication, decision-making capabilities, self-worth and confidence.

These sessions should be supplemented with initiatives that promote physical activity and teamwork, such as the Mankind Project and the Ropes Course Experience.

The Men’s Shed Movement might be another example for this kind of integrative program.

Regardless of what approach is used, the goal must be to ensure that our boys and young men are educated, empowered, and allowed to fly with the eagles. We want them to be able to make choices that ensure they, and society as a whole, come out ahead in the end.

Tim Patten is the author of popular books and articles on male empowerment. The article above is excerpted from his groundbreaking self-help book, Masculinity is Our Future, which is not about male superiority or authority, but about achieving growth, taking responsibility, and gaining respect for yourself and others.

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