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Lonely Single Men of MGTOW?

By Tim Patten

The Lonely Single Men of MGTOW


Around the world, a large and growing contingent of single males are sounding a clarion call about the dark side of marriage.

In doing so, they are drawing scorn and being contemptuously regarded as “lonely hearts,” “loners,” “losers,” “women-haters” and “recluses.” But nothing could be further from the truth.

They have made an informed and rationale choice based on modern day realities and a keen understanding of what is important. What follows is an exploration of the world of Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW) and the lives that these individuals choose to lead.

Since no-fault divorce laws were enacted in 1970, over 50 million American men have endured oppressive divorces initiated by their wives.

Ironically, if not for the fact that females roundly criticize males who avoid the marriage commitment, it is the wives who are choosing to break their vows to more than one million men each year.

These women are massacring families, instigating frantic disarray among loved ones, and derailing the expectations of innocent children, creating panic and a fear of the unknown.

Despite the fact that these women are to blame, few seem to criticize them for the heartbreak they are causing, or for using the power of the government to take money, assets and fees from spouses and, as is usually the case, to gain custody of the children.

In the end, most husbands are left dumbfounded–without a home, support system or reasons to work and keep going. Their souls are ripped apart.

They have been used up and tossed aside while ex-wives ease into government welfare and support programs that provide incentives and a motivation for women to divorce.

In a fair and reasonable world, those who advocate equality would maintain that such blatant bias warrants protests and legal action.

Most Americans seem to think that marriage is a state of heavenly happiness. Unfortunately, those who seek such a blissful existence are unaware of or blind to the large numbers of divorced males who suffer in obscurity, staving off depression, anger, alcohol and substance abuse.

Sadly, many have ended up homeless and committed suicide. The National Institute for Healthcare has found that divorce ranks as the number one factor associated with suicide rates in major U.S. cities.

In the 1980s, a coroner linked the high rate in his locale with men’s inability to cope with divorce.

Things are different on the other side of the gender fence. In contrast to the shameful way in which ex-husbands are treated–seemingly discarded like yesterday’s trash–society protects, supports and advises ex-wives.

In fact, it is astounding that divorced males can even remain healthy as they struggle to cope and emerge from the post-divorce darkness.

For the luckier ones, they find their way to the brotherhood of MGTOW, wrongly declared as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center after radical women’s organizations made false and malicious claims about misogyny in its ranks.

In truth, the so-called bad apples are anything but.

What follows is a compilation of selected anonymous statements from various MGTOW participants, edited, condensed and grouped by topic, that shows what this progressive movement is really all about:

Everyone knows that married men are not allowed to maintain all their pre-marriage friends and hobbies. The married guys in my world are the loneliest and most miserable people of anyone I know. 

“Lonely” is some guy in suburbia, whose wife has just exploded into an emotional rage and kicked him out of his own home. I’m not sure any of the women I’ve been with appreciate solitude like I do; they’ve always stirred up drama with me and my friends, and hostility between my extended family members.

Financially, I am in control. I choose what to do with my money, where it sits–whether in cash or assets–how much is saved, and how much I am happy to spend.

If I want to buy something–anything–and I can afford it, I do, because I don’t have to seek permission nor beg forgiveness. My money, my choice.

Now I am 50, fit and happier than I have ever been in my life. I have a six-figure income, two properties, bikes and a truck, money in the bank, investments and more.

Men are the prize in any male and female relationship. I would not risk my assets or waste my time with a woman to alleviate a perceived loneliness, or succumb to gynocentric shaming–that would be insane.

Which is worse? To be alone, or to be trapped in a relationship with someone who is using you for your ability to provide security but won’t return your love and respect.

It’s not men who are failing to live up to their end of the marriage contract; it is the social, financial and legal consequences of divorce that have been the real nail in the coffin.

Me, personally, I am a volunteer firefighter, so I’m always at the fire department, or I go to the gym and get my workout in.

I participate in local political meetings and have become a mentor for the Boys & Girls Clubs. I volunteer at a homeless shelter and help people in need.

Loneliness should not be a factor in any of this. I go camping, hunting, and fishing with friends. I put some aftermarket parts on my ride and take it to a car show and meet other people who are doing the same.

When I get home I not only want to be alone, I most definitely NEED to be alone. I have a nice home, an awesome piece of land, views of the wilderness for miles, and animals, and no one passing judgment or telling me how to live, how to look, how to spend my time or what intellectual interests or hobbies to pursue.

I am far happier and more at ease in my own mind and space than I ever have been. When I lived with a woman or was going steady, I suffered their constant interference in my activities.


Unfortunately, the thoughts of tens of thousands of divorced men who have died from suicide, the millions who are homeless, or the countless others who are lost in a hurricane of booze or drug addiction, are missing.

Without their words, all that remains are the courageous survivors of institutionalized abuse who have chosen to speak in their place.

MGTOW individuals have earned doctorates in dodging bullets, surviving the underworld, and tunneling through the razor wire of divorce.

They are ordinary men who have overcome extraordinary odds, and have earned the right to speak above those who seek to shame, deny and distort.

A bold and enlightened way of thinking is unfolding in the “manosphere.” Caring and knowledgeable males are opening their hearts and offering assistance to divorced dads and ex-husbands.

It is MGTOW that has defined the right sort of survival strategies; they are worthy of being designated as the enduring safety net for the male casualties of marriage.

Their trailblazing efforts to raise awareness of marriage and its impact on men is not only honorable, but represents an ethical awakening and a vision for redeeming those who might in future suffer a similar fate.

About the Author

Tim Patten released in 2016: MGTOW, Building Wealth and Power. He also wrote WHY I CHEAT11 campfire stories for men’s ears only. Both books are a celebration of masculinity and pay homage to the modern men’s liberation movement. Patten previously published the novel about establishing gender equality in professional sports, Roller Babes: 1950s Women of Roller Derby.


Amber Heard could get $20million in divorce settlement after just 15 months of marriage – as iPhone bust-up with Johnny Depp was ‘sparked by a fight over his dying mother’. Thanks Donovan Worland.

New Study, father absence a predictor of depression in young girls. Thanks Anthony Larme.

Red Skull character politicized by Marvel. Thanks Bob Durden.

Seattle burlesque performer: Airline did not allow me to board plane because of my short shorts.

ESPN continues to lose subscribers at an alarming rate. Thanks Rob T.

This entry was posted in Divorce, Divorce Court, domestic violence, men, men going their own way, men's issues, men's rights, mgtow and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.


  1. Al Mo
    Posted June 1, 2016 at 10:00 pm | Permalink

    Brilliance on display!

  2. Chris the Barbarian
    Posted June 2, 2016 at 1:15 pm | Permalink

    Hail Hydra! 😉

    I also stopped reading most Comics in the 90’s. Switched to books, much cheaper in the long run.
    And the SJW Nonesense has pretty much infested the Comic Book Scene – I mean, Gay Captain America, Thor has become a woman, and so much more. Just a Clusterfuck, best to be left behind.

    Now, off to listening the Podcast while I’m doing some Cardio. Thanks Bern!

    • Bernard Chapin
      Posted June 2, 2016 at 9:40 pm | Permalink

      thanks for listening Chris, appreciate it

  3. Ad Verdiesen
    Posted June 5, 2016 at 9:43 pm | Permalink

    feminism is making sociopaths,
    divorce is child abuse, thus the divorcing parent is unfit and,
    paradoxical ghas to be removed fro child(ren)&family at once,
    to reunite asap,
    after being deprogrammed&healed from feminism,
    or any other mind illness..

  4. john smith
    Posted September 14, 2016 at 5:19 pm | Permalink

    MGTOW found me in November 2014, dangling over the darkness of the abyss by the knot in the end of the rope wondering if the darkness below was the better option. I discovered that I was one of the countless millions of men subjected to a false DV charge as special snowflake’s opening salvo in the divorce she wanted. My past life and future had been destroyed. MGTOW pulled me back from the edge and literally saved my life. I am sure I am not alone in this.

    The thing that galls me most about the many detractors of MGTOW is that these people have zero experience with the DV and divorce industries and the Kafkaesque nightmare they are designed to inflict upon a man. They simply have no idea what they are talking about. It would be like a neo-con civilian criticizing a land combat veteran over his abhorrence of war and reluctance to support politicians sending young men to foreign battlefields to be killed and maimed for what almost always turns out to be nothing.

    There is no legitimate argument against a man going MGTOW. That is what drives its detractors mad. The only tool they have is shaming tactics which only serves to reinforce the reasons the man went MGTOW in the first place.

    MGTOW today, MGTOW tomorrow, MGTOW forever.

    • Schady Freude
      Posted June 24, 2019 at 8:37 pm | Permalink

      What a perfect description of the Domestic Violence wing of the Victimization Industry–quite profitable industry indeed. I simply left–oh, you should have heard the shaming language, epithets and slurs for “abandonment” of my family–because one more day and I know I would have committed suicide. The only thing that stopped me were the images of my two kids popping into my mind; I could no longer put them through the horror of watching their mother verbally and emotionally abuse their father. It was a form of castration that I could not justify having them experience one more day.

  5. ben
    Posted October 21, 2016 at 3:33 pm | Permalink

    i became mgtow in 2006 at 24. no regrets. lots of shame tactics from people but i never gave in. shame me all you want it only pushes me further away. i’m doing me and i let you do you. if people can’t deal with that, f them it’s not my problem. and for the people calling us losers who can’t get laid. haha lol i never had it this easy. no shortage of 20 year old sluts here. they seem to be everywhere. al you have to do is buy them a drink and give them a compliment about there stupid outfit and you have yourself a 5 euro prostitute.

  6. Toni
    Posted November 18, 2016 at 3:57 am | Permalink

    Guys! I’m female, age 65, never married, no children- can’t find a male with social care or intelligence. Pound a nail in a board, drink beer & make a cool man-cave? Why do men go to bed with a female – love the sex & marry the female? Never could figure that out. She’s cute & sex is great – what a winner to marry! That is the most stupid thing ever. It all about CHARACTER, SKILLS & ABILITIES SHE & YOU HAVE. Question #1 – how much debt do you have? Huge indicator. Males need to figure out females – which – by the way ….is super easy. For instance, the 8 games conceited female bitches play. so simple. there really is not much more to them! AKA: bait & switch!!! Bitches and asshole bullies are created about age 5. By the time they hit 2nd grade – bitches are in full swing. It is soooo easy to see their selfish-ass selves – if your are looking for selfishness, bad behavior and selfish minded speech – instead of……. what they can do for your penis. You marry them and squirt out 3 kids without thinking. Please grow up O man. Hey- you guys think an theatrical female who vents a little anger is so cute. 15 years later is it still so cute? I think there are more females who are verbal abusers and violent to males than the other way around. Then – the males stay stupid silent victims. EVERYTIME a female attacks a male with violence of any kind – call the cops and have her hauled away for a domestic! VIOLENCE – no matter who or why….. is against the law in the USA. God of the Bible punishes for bad behavior and judges everyone for speech – and so should people. Put the screws to females when they behave badly. DO NOT TOUCH THEM. But, cut them off of the $$$. Kick them out of the house – and make THEM get an apartment ON THEIR DIME! Make them go to anger management classes before you let them back in the house. Humble them. Get them off their high horse. DIVORCE THEM. Get educated dudes – read about about bitch speech and behavior….VS…. a good smart wise female that have people skills, communication skills, conflict management skills, goals in life, have great accomplishments and want a nice kind companion/husband for a blessed home life. Proverbs 29:11 Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Females who are caught lying should be dumped immediately. Because there is so much more bad that will come out of a liar over time. Hell in your bed. (nasty!!!) faker. play-acter. con artist. fraud. stealing. hypocrite = a liar in every way. Hope this helps somebody. Read proverbs in the BIBLE and open your eyes! God tells everybody about the low side of males and females as well as the high side – a 1000 X’s over. But nobody want to consult GOD about people – who HE engineered and manufactured and wrote the owners manual for?????

    • ben
      Posted December 31, 2016 at 1:47 pm | Permalink

      tony? if we apply your rules there wil be 3 women left in the world. oh and the cool men caves? f that. the house is mine. wy would i make a cool men cave? i pay for the house so it’s all mine. let the woman sit in a cool cave. same with the sleeping on the sofa thing women like to say. f that, the bed is mine so the woman can sleep on the sofa. men should not accept shit like that. i’m the king of the castle and any woman entering it better knows her place. it’s time men stand up to this shit. when i was a nice guy women wouldn’t respect me. now i behave like a a-hole they all wait in line for a chance to try and fix me with their pussy power. so wy be a nice guy? wy get married, wy give women anything? if it only leads to suffering for a man. and being a a-hole pays off. oh and fxxx god. if this is all part of god’s plan, then his plan sucks. so fxxx him. he can stick paradise up his ass. not that i believe in the invisible man in the clouds thing anyway.

  7. Posted May 21, 2017 at 5:08 am | Permalink

    Excellent article! I totally agree. I hope that more men will see sites like this and wake up to the truth.

  8. Ronen
    Posted September 27, 2017 at 6:13 pm | Permalink

    In doing so, they are drawing scorn and being contemptuously regarded as “lonely hearts,” “loners,” “losers,” “women-haters” and “recluses.” But nothing could be further from the truth.

    No, i actually do agree with one of the thing they claim
    yes , i do fucking hate females
    i don’t understand why other MGTOW ashamed of this
    i even proud to hate females
    you should all be honest with yourself
    even if it not popular

  9. Truth Is
    Posted September 22, 2018 at 12:49 pm | Permalink

    Then again if there weren’t so many very rotten women nowadays, then many of us good men that are still single would’ve been settled down already had we met a normal decent one.

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